This isn't something I talk about often because it always brings up a lot of mixed emotions (in myself and in others). Although I really think that moving to Idaho where I had no friends or family was probably the biggest challenge, I think dealing with certain details of my wedding is one of the hardest.
Jake and I were planning to get married at a lovely outdoor spring ceremony in May. My mother wasn't thrilled with the idea and begged us to wait until I had finished college. Respecting her wishes, I decided I would wait one year to the following spring. By then I would be almost finished with my Associate degree since I started college early and that would be sufficient. Because we were "living in sin" by living together before being married, the religious organization that my in laws belong to began persecuting them for allowing us to do so (though we were living in our own apartment). The opportunity arose for us to get married at a small bed and breakfast in December of 2008 and before I knew it, the plans had already been made and my in laws had offered to pay for it as our wedding gift.
We had 5 people in attendance not including ourselves, the minister and the owner of the b&b. My family was celebrating Christmas together and because of the way things happened didn't feel wanted at our wedding, so not a single member of my family was there. It's heartbreaking to think of; that they actually felt unwanted.
We were actually almost late to our own wedding. We actually went to my family's get together prior to heading to the b&b and I won't point fingers, but somebody else who got married that night seriously underestimated the driving time between the two places. Because of this, my hair looked horrible and I had to rush to get ready. (Like 10 minute change rush.) =/
|Traditional pose for the B&B.|
There are a lot of people in my family who resent me (us) for going along with that route and part of me really can't blame them. My mom didn't get to be a part of her only daughter's wedding. My grandpa never had the chance to see any grand kids get married. (I'm the oldest & he passed away a year and a half ago.) It hurts me personally to not have those memories in photos and constantly reminded about it and put on one guilt trip after another. My grandma feels so strongly about it that she actually didn't want to have much to do with my hubby until recently.
My sister in law did take some photos for us on the beach a couple of months later, but it's not the same. It's tough to feel like you held such little control over your own special day.
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