Little Moments: Birthing Fears

As part of my goals for 2013 I wanted to have regular features on the blog. Well, Tuesdays are going to be reserved for my "Little Moments" posts. Little Moments will be my weekly opportunity to post about what life is really like to be a mother. I'll cover everything from sweet things my kiddos do or say, embarrassing moments we have or moments of frustration and how we can learn from each other to handle them in a loving way.

Current pregnancy at 29 weeks.

I think we'll start with a confession. Although this is my second pregnancy I get occasional anxiety over giving birth again. Okay, its really every time I start to sit down and really think about how soon baby girl is going to be here. Please tell me I'm not the only one out there..


With my first pregnancy, birth went pretty smooth overall. Actually, I felt that we had it pretty easy and we only had a few low points. You can read the full birth story or here's the quick notes:
-Induced labor

-Mostly pain free

-4 contractions of pushing

-Perfect baby

-Speedy recovery

As nice as most of that looks on paper, there are major components that I want to be different. I'm confident that this little girl will know when it's time for her to come, and that there won't be any need for inducing--especially early. Then a little bit of fear hits me when I remember that I've never actually gone into labor without having everyone on hand before. I mean, Jake plans to be helping some friends out by working with their liquid fertilizer business this spring. It's going to be long hours and lots of work, and not only will he be a huge asset to them, it will earn us some extra money for savings as well. That means I'll be home alone most of the time with Natalia. I get hung up on things like how do you know it's the "real thing" when you go into labor? What if he's not home? How do you know when to go to the hospital? 

Another thing I want to try to avoid is the epidural. That in itself was probably the most scary thing for me last time. Starting about 3 months after having Natalia I was getting very tender pain in the spot where the epidural had been and just the thought of it makes me want to avoid them in the future. But for someone with an almost non-existent pain tolerance, how do you power through natural labor and birth without giving in and taking the easier way out? 

I'm also just a little bit nervous about our care after baby girl is born. The first time around our nurse didn't want to answer her pages for medication, help with ice packs, or even give me a shower. Seriously, Jake had to do it the day after we had Natalia and I was left feeling gross until then. It was sad. I also REALLY hope there is a lactation consultant on call when this little girl is born. There wasn't one at the hospital where Natalia was born and I feel like it resulted in us having not so great luck with breastfeeding. (Although I did pump exclusively for 7 months because I was determined not to give her formula if I could help it.)

I guess whether it's your first child or your sixth, there's still going to be a level of anxiety and fear since we all know that every pregnancy is different and can have different results during the actual birth. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that A) someone is home with me when labor starts and B) I can have this little girl in just a few pushes as well. As much as I want to aim for no epidural or medications, I won't be disappointed with myself if that's how things end up because in the end, it won't matter when we finally get to meet out little girl.

What fears did you have about becoming a parent either for the first time or again?

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